I believe if I live my life fully engaged and present I will be free. By being engaged in life, and not pushing it away, I live free and without regret. There was a time in my life where I thought if I could go to a cave on a mountain top, live off the grid, or have community of other like minded folks I would find happiness and peace. I assumed that with hard work I could create this environment, as long as every one involved cooperated with my idea and went along with me. Pretty narcissistic, huh????
So I matured a little and began to realize that life is not about others meeting my needs, but rather it is about my learning how to be present in each moment, embracing life as it is, and not how I want it to be. When I accept life on its terms, not mine, I live mindfully. Mindful living lets me be present in the moment.
The more present I am, the more mindfully I live, the more simple and easy it is to do. It takes a lot of work and worry to have to think and plan for others thoughts and actions; and, of course, I can never control others. Being mindful of my thoughts, words, and actions lets me have control in the one place that I do have this; within me.
It is strange when I realized how simple this was, but how difficult I had made it in my mind. I am reminded of how encultureated we all are to what we believe society teaches. I was seeking acceptance from others when I was not accepting myself. It sounds bizarre now, but I was looking for acceptance in all the wrong place. I would not find, nor could I create a group that accepted me...because I was not accepting myself.
When I began to relax into self acceptance it became much easier to accept others as they are and not what I want them to be. Accepting me taught me to accept others. There are those I prefer to not have contact with but that is a choice and is not about not accepting them. It is about accepting and honoring my feelings. It is about learning to discern my feelings, to act responsibly on these feelings while I accept others as they are. No one need to change for me, and I need not change for others.
I respect others beliefs and in honoring this I honor and respect me. When I do this no one is obligated to share my beliefs, they need only to be respectful of me. Mutual respect creates an atmosphere for mindfulness. I believe that in this atmosphere we can all learn to find respect for each other.
In living mindfully I feel we can see that everything is true from different points of view. If we learn to accept this we may realize that war and other acts of terrorism are not necessary. I do not have to make others accept or believe the way I do, I need only to learn tolerance of others and their beliefs. I can stand firm for my beliefs, as long as I don't try and make others accept my beliefs as their truths. If others try to force their beliefs on me I will stand strong in myself.
This is why I believe it is important to know and trust myself. When I accept myself as I am it is easier, and much more effective, to live as I do. Being mindful allows me to remain strong and centered in me, and when I am there I find that others respect me, even if they don't understand why this is.
Mindfulness allows me to accept and understand others beliefs even when I don't understand or agree with them. When I am mindful I am proactive, rather than reactive, to myself and all others.
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