Last night Thay walked through my dream time. I had thought of him throughout the day. He was walking in the slow, steady, purposeful way that he walks. His attention was focused as he silently put one foot then the other on the earth. He gently and reverently moved across the earth and in his walking I realized the depth of his meditation in life.
As his feet touched the earth he absorbed the energy that radiated upward and he reciprocated and sent his energy back into her. There was love and balance in his walk and I was aware of how silence in all things allows us to touch our deepest creative heart. As I observed his walk I learned the importance and beauty of silence in all that we do.
When we are silent our voices are much stronger when we speak. So is the power of Thay; his silence enhances his teachings. When he speaks it is from the depth of his silence. His talk like his walk reflects his reverence and respect for all life.
This dream was showing me how to balance my thoughts, words, and actions in my daily walk through life. Thay walks slowly, peacefully and his thoughts are in the moment; this becomes an example for how to maintain balance in my life. He is completely aware of every moment in that moment. His thoughts do not precede him nor do they follow him; they are with him where he is. This is how I visualize my life, neither rushing ahead in my thoughts nor lagging behind but being still and with them in the present moment.
Thay's walk through my dream allowed me to experience the calm that he displays wherever he is. When my thoughts run ahead or drag behind the thought of his walk brings me back into the present moment. Regret, worry, and anticipation dissolve as my thoughts stay present. My breath becomes my anchor.
So I breathe in and I breathe out to re-experience this dream with Thích Nhất Hạnh.
When worry, anxiety, regret, plague my thoughts I ground myself in my breath and visualize Thay's slow, purposeful walk along a path.
The lawn awakes
After a long winter’s
Sleep
The trees bear
Witness to new
Budding
And tiny shoots
Of flowers
Timidly pop
Their heads
Above ground
Last year’s
Left over leaves
Are cleared away
By able hands
And strong backs
Of the lawn crew
Green touches
Brown grass
Birds sing
Calling to
Each other and
To a new Dawn
Ah, Spring
Arrives
PSG 4/11/15
Years ago I learned how to create an alter for my meditation practice. In the beginning of doing this practice I needed the prompt of an alter to help my mind touch the discipline of my practice. Having a familiar space with a few special objects helped me begin the transition from ordinary time into sacred time. At that point in my life I thought they were separate. So the place and objects assisted my transition from one state of being to another.
I am a morning person so the best time for me to engage in this practice is morning. I would get up early, go to the alter I had made in our family room, sit quietly, focus on the objects on my alter, and begin my practice. I taught myself consistency in those early days; at a certain time and in my designated place I would slow my in breath and my out breath, try to stop my thoughts, which I often was unsuccessful at doing, and move toward a feeling of peace. Some days in my 20 minute practice I may have 5 seconds of meditation. Despite my success or failure I came back to the cushion, my alter, and this practice daily. Looking back on those years I see how encumbered my practice was then, but it was necessary for me to surrender to this practice as I strengthened my ability to sit quietly.
In time and in working with teachers I learned that mind chatter, which is referred to as monkey mind, is the challenge students of meditation face. It is the mind's attempt to remain in
control. The mind fears that when we move beyond our thoughts it will
no longer be in charge. It fears losing its place of creating our
identity so the mindless chatter of monkey mind is created to counter
this fear.
In my first months of meditation my mind was very active; "what do I make for breakfast, what do the kids need for the day, my schedule at my office, Roger's day", the list went on and on and on.... It might move to regrets, anger, hurt, failure, or to joy, success, and love. It pulled me into past or future and increased my sense of not being in control. Oft times my 20 minute practice became a 19 minute 55 second day dream, gripe session, or filled with regret, and perhaps only 5 seconds touched the state of mindfulness, but slowly I began to understand that those 5 seconds were a gift from my continuing my practice.
Then I began to allow myself to witness the mind-play of monkey mind chatter. Slowly and with continued practice I learned to separate from this inner talk and to become the observer to the process of these thoughts. I was able to watch them, not judge them, but see them with compassion and let them go. I did not have to continue to think about these things nor did I have to act on them; I witnessed and let them go.
As my practice continued I realized that I did not need objects or a place to create sacred space; that exists wherever I am and I become the scared object of my meditation. I became unencumbered with the trappings of my practice. I was told by my medicine teacher that when I smoked the sacred pipe I was not praying to Wakantaka but rather I was praying with Wakantaka. This teacher taught me that although the pipe is a sacred object it is only a symbol for the sacredness of self. To give honor and respect to it is good, but to love, honor, and respect self is what we hopefully learn from our practice.
I understood that in my meditation practice it is not about space or objects but is about the sacredness of self. Meditation is a good way to get in touch with my inner sacredness, but living a life that demonstrates this sacredness in my daily thoughts, words, and actions is what this and any practice needs to be about. If I do not walk my practice in my daily life then my talk will not be meaningful.
So we begin with a slow, steady practice to build up our ability to sit on the cushion, or in a chair, still our thoughts, and eventually become the witness to this process. In the beginning it takes the consistency of time, place, and objects to quiet our minds. With time and daily practice we find our minds quieting and becoming still. As this happens we begin to grow into a mindful place of meditation. Observing monkey mind we can unravel our angry, self destructive thoughts, and begin to experience mindfulness.
As we become more assured in our practice we begin to let go of the props we once needed to find harmony with mind, body, and spirit. Now we carry our practice into daily life, and can practice whenever and wherever we are in each moment. We self activate our practice in the moment and this guides our thoughts, words, and actions. We are present now, and all we seek or need is available in this moment.
In the words and teachings of my first teacher: "We no longer pray to, but we now pray with as we touch the divine presence within ourselves and in each moment." It is good, mitakuye oyasin.
