The Prophet

I discovered the book "The Prophet" by Kahil Gibran,my sophomore year in college.  Even at the grand old age of of nineteen I knew that this book contained the wisdom needed to live a full life.  As Almustafa, The Chosen, takes leave of the city of Orphalease his final words are, "A little while, a moment of rest upon the wind, and another woman shall bear me", I knew I was hooked.  For nearly fifty years I have reread this book as a source of guidance and wisdom through life.

And as Almitra, the seeress, words released The Prophet she asks him to speak to those who are gathered there of Love, and so his first discourse begins..... 

As a young woman in college this was perhaps the most important passage for me.  It was a passage that was often used at a candle passing when a house member would announce her pinning or engagement.  In subsequent years the entire book took on meaning in my life, but this was the first passage that The Prophet spoke to those gathered that day, and it spoke to my young  heart.

In my youth it meant to me the perfect romantic love I would hope for; in later years, as I matured, it became the archetype of unconditional love.  Through this love I could learn the secrets of my own heart and in knowing that I would become a fragment of life's heart.  This journey, as I have learned, is fraught with pain, but also brings incredible joy.

The Prophet spoke of Love, Marriage, Children, Joy & Sorrow, Reason & Passion, Teaching, Friendship, Beauty, Religion, and Death, to mention a few chapters.   All manner of living and life are addressed in this little book.  It was published in 1923.  My copy was the seventy-ninth printing in May, 1967; and many more printings have followed.

 

It gave me wisdom for marriage; "make not a bond of your love, fill each others cup but drink not from one cup".  Raising my children I remembered and often repeated, "Your children are not your children.  They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself...they come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you"....

"Joy is your sorrow unmasked....The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."  Those words gave me strength and courage at times of sorrow and loss and allowed me to bear with grace the pain that opened me to recurring joy in my life.   Joy and sorrow reflect my capacity to accept life's teachings, and I find that both do exist simultaneously in my life.  In moments of my deepest sorrow joy exists, and in the joyful moments sorrow is quietly perceived. 

This book prepares me for each day of life.  Unknowing to my nineteen-year-old conscious mind it introduced me to the state of non-duality.  It assisted me in navigating the waters of young adulthood and to find safe havens when the journey grew to difficult.  Reading and recalling passages from this book gave me understanding, insights, and awareness into a view of life I had not been exposed to. 

And at the end of that day Almitra asks The Prophet to speak of death.  He said, "You would know the secret of death; how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?"  The Prophet tells his listeners/readers that only when we embrace the opposite of what we seek will we truly be free

The Prophet offered me archetypical roles that continue to guide and influence my life decisions today.  I find knowledge in many books, writings, and discourses, but The Prophet holds wisdom in every page.  Our minds want knowledge, but wisdom is food for the soul.  Wisdom allows us to truly dance free..... through the universe.

   

 

A Simple Mindful Practice For Meditation

Smile as you take a deep cleansing in breath, feel it flow into your belly, relax, focus on the moment between the in breath and the out breath, and slowly breathe out and let go.  A simple mindful practice that we can do many times a day.

People often ask me how to meditate and why do I meditate?  My meditation is as simple as this mindful practice.  Each in breath and out breath last a few seconds, but as I string them together I increase my practice a few more seconds.  Breathing in and out, as I always do, my mindfulness to my breath is the gateway to my meditation practice.  Sitting at home or in a public place my breath is always with me and my focus on it for a moment can remind me to relax and let go.

Meditation is a practice of releasing; letting go of my thoughts and witnessing me from the point of the observer.  This simple practice of focus on the moment between my in breath and my out breath is a millisecond of meditation. That place between breaths is my point of entering meditation.  With time and practice that millisecond grows.

I began my meditation practice by counting my breaths.  I would think "I am breathing in one I am breathing out one, I am breathing in two I am breathing out two" and so on.  When I lost the count I had entered meditation.  When I realized that I was no longer counting my breaths I had lost my meditation.  So I would begin again, and again, and again.... 

My breath becomes a sound that helps my meditation deepen.  My in breath is the sound of "so", my out breath becomes "hum".  The sound of "so-hum" resonates with each breath and becomes a cadence that allows me to release my thoughts and be present in the moment; no past or future - only now.

Much more than any other animal, we humans have evolved the ability to live in our own thoughts, detached from the demands of our immediate actions and experiences.  Many people report that they dislike sitting quietly without distraction.  Perhaps this is because it leads to rumination, brooding on unpleasant experiences, or it leads to anxiety and worry about the future. In either case these thoughts pull us out of being here now.

When I experience this happening I refocus on my breath, which brings me back to now.  I listen to the sound of my inhalation, "so", and to the sound of my exhalation, "hum", and I ride the wave of my breath back to now.  Any time I feel anxious or troubled I realize I am not here now.  My breath can bring me back to the moment.  

Being in the moment allows me to live closer to my meditation as a practice in my daily life.  This lets me be an objective observer to my life and allows life's situations to cause less reaction in me.  When I observe rather than react to my life I am in charge of me.  I find balance in the moment and am not subjected to thoughts that drive moods.  Stepping away from and observing my thoughts I become the creator of my reality.

What a beautiful place to be.....

   


        

Knowledge and Wisdom

Knowledge comes from the mind wisdom belongs to the spiritual heart.  My mind teaches me about duality and separation, my heart allows me to experience  integration.  This happens when I love myself unconditionally, which means learning how to love my thoughts without judgement.

Because my mind creates duality it is important that I accept all of my thoughts with love.  As Ram Dass encourages us to do, "love your thoughts to death".  I believe that until I love everything about me, including my errant thoughts, I do not love myself unconditionally, and then can not love others unconditionally.  Unconditional love really does begin with self.

It is interesting how thoughts take on judgement and social conditioning, but the spiritual heart moves beyond duality.

I feel my spiritual heart exists beyond right or wrong, and in its acceptance allows me to discern mindfulness in all things.  Learning to lead with this heart, rather than with my head, helps me move away from my right and wrong thinking and into a place of understanding.  I understand even if I don't condone others thoughts or actions.  

Understanding why others behave in ways that I don't agree with becomes my practice of accepting what I cannot change without my being responsible for others actions.  Acceptance does not mean condoning, it only means I allow others their beliefs as long as they respect my boundaries and beliefs.  In doing this I can defend myself without taking others behavior personally, and without falling into rage. 

I believe that rage exhibits a sense of powerlessness and that then drives anger turning it into rage.  Watching people or groups who display rage it seems they are driven by strong reactions against that which they feel they can't control and by what they do not understand.  In these situations people do not listen to understand; they listen to respond and to react which often leads to rage. 

When I confront this in another person or group I must remember to approach them from my spiritual heart.  In this way I give each space for their beliefs but I do not tolerate their behavior if it infringes into my space.  I respect their space and expect the same of them.  Heart wisdom teaches me the importance of listening to understand rather than to react. 

Knowledge teaches right and wrong; wisdom grants me acceptance, even of that with which I don't agree.  It allows me to walk the path of tolerance which helps me not to be deceived but also keeps me from my own righteousness.  When I walk in balance between these things I find I am more discerning of others actions and more able to make good choices for me.  Knowing and knowledge are important but wisdom is impeccable.  

  

       

Walking Each Other Home

Perhaps, as Ram Dass says, we are really just walking each other home.  As I write this I recall when our son was four and he and a friend were playing in the yard.  It was dusk and his friend was to go home which was five houses up the street.  She was afraid to walk in the semi darkness so Tad walked her home, but then he decided he did not want to walk back by himself.  So he and his friend made two or three trips between the houses until he came in and ask me to walk with them.  Sometimes we all need a little help walking home.

Giving our support to each other as we walk our paths can help us keep on keepin on. There have been many times that I would have given up but someone encouraged and supported me on in my journey.  There are times when the journey seems too long and the night too dark to continue on.  

At age four my son realized that five houses away at dusk seemed like an impossibly long journey to take alone so he ask me to walk with him.  There are times in life when we need others support but can not ask for it.  It may be easier to admit to fear at age four than at age forty; ego often stops the adult from asking for help and he/she may struggle on alone rather than lose face.   

Recently a homeless alcoholic would not go into recovery until another person stopped and ask if she could walk the distance with him to the rehab center. She did and he made it to a place where he has the opportunity of addressing his addiction.  I am guessing that he was afraid to go into rehab despite the dangers of being homeless, alone, and on the street.  The risk of being vulnerable to asking for help sometimes seems greater that the risks of not asking.  

The journey may seem lonely until another offers a hand to help us along.  This is how we walk each other home.  Taking the time to pause, look, listen, and hear others will impact our journeys as well as theirs.  A helping hand works both ways.

Walking each other home we can really get to know the other.  We begin to to find the commonality in our lives.  If we exchange our life stories rather than our opinions we learn that we each in our own way are dealing with two basic emotions, love and fear.  Fear contracts while love expands us.

Fear for me manifests in ways that creates separation between me and others; love erases the barriers of fear.  Fear often hides behind anger, prejudice, hate, and other negative feelings.  These negative feelings appear powerful on the surface but are masks for a greater feeling of being afraid of the unknown and the misunderstood.  As I really get to know the other, especially if this means confronting my fears and prejudices, I find there are commonalities with the other, and knowing this helps me collapse the barriers my fear creates. 

I believe that fear is a part of our being encultureated to not trust our differences and diversity.  Yet it is this diversity that creates the beauty that I find in life.  To me the world would be void of color if not for the differences between all things.  Sameness and safety are boring and do not challenge me to grow and mature, check and rethink my opinions, learn from my encounters, and understand my uncertainties as I walk along 

The danger of this exists to those who are not sure of themselves, their beliefs, and what they say are their truths.  When we doubt ourselves and the encultureated teachings of society it is hard to trust what we have been told. This can lead to clinging to these thoughts and beliefs that do not tolerate  questioning.  This, I believe, interferes with acceptance of and trust in each other. 

Questioning promotes tolerance.  Tolerance teaches me to accept differences rather that settling for sameness.  Diversity adds color to my life and creates a rich panorama of sound, color, and feeling alive.

Meeting The Shadow Self

I read a post by a blogger entitled "The Walk", about the author's experience with a homeless man.  It reminded me of my working with the inner images and fears that I often feel when I encounter the disenfranchised in my life. At times I avoid really looking into these people's faces.  Perhaps because I fear that they represent a shadow of me?

I believe we each carry a fear of our own loss and disenfranchisement.  It often lurks just below our conscious awareness.  In "The Walk" this author took the time and had the courage to confront her own fears.  In doing so she found the similarities in their lives.  He was not alien to her life and her experiences.  He is after all, as are all people, human.

Confronting human pain often brings up my up own fears of unresolved feelings in my life.  I realize that all of this exists within me.  The more I attempt to avoid that realization the more I withdrawn from others pain in an attempt to shield myself from this.  I don't want to take a walk with whomever and whatever triggers this fear inside me.  I am afraid to address this shadow side in me.

It takes courage to sit down with what frightens me and invite that fear into a conversation.  Looking directly into the face of another and accurately seeing what is reflected there becomes a mirror to my true self.  Can I hold the gaze or will I deflect it and look away?

That is the question, isn't it?  It takes great courage to sit with my own shadows, fears, prejudices, and judgements.  It is not what I fear from others that drives my resistance, it is what I fear within me that keeps me avoiding their gaze.  Whatever I confront on the outside is a reflection of what is alive in my shadow self.  Looking into the face of the homeless, the disenfranchised, the angry, the hurt reminds me that I too hold this within me.  Understanding and accepting this allows me to release my fears which keep me locked away from my own humanity and unable to stand at the center of my humanness.  

Fear always shuts me down while love and acceptance opens me up.  That realization moves me beyond being afraid and into seeing and accepting the humanity in all.  The author of "The Walk" did not turn away from her fears, stayed her course and touched this man's life, no matter the circumstances he now finds himself in.  I believe she held the gaze of whatever this man reflected in her and in doing so not only faced her own fears but also re-reminded him of his humanity.

It seems so much easier to hide from this gaze in life, but by avoiding this truth my fear increases and surrounds me.  Looking into the gaze of pain and suffering the totality of humanity becomes real.  Suffering is not faceless....

     

When I realize and accept this I am not only able to look into the outer faces that reflect fear but into the inner ones as well.  When I do this I realize that they are mirrors of each other and my sitting and having a conversation with my fears release their hold on me.  It is another step toward personal freedom. 

Hari Om, to all of my friends......
  

Women Drummers

"As women recall and re-remember their birthright as drummers the world begins to change."
PSG

Drums create a powerful cadence that underlies the rhythm of all life.  Listening for and being able to discern that beat sustains and propels us forward into our lives.  Drums are one of the most ancient instruments and in the hands of women it spurs us into our quest to uncover our ancient roots.  The drum teaches and allows women the experiential magic to celebrate the Universe in Her Feminine Form, and to participate in an ancient religion that is free from grandiosity, violence, and is in harmony with our natural rhythms of being.   

  
Drumming spirals us inward and we touch our inner mysteries. Perhaps patriarchy is just a blip on the screen of human history.  Women are in charge of our bodies and spirits in a natural state that flows inward to our mysteries and outward into life .  Drums and drumming can restore women to our rightful place of reclaiming our consciousness and living centered in ourselves. 

The drum beat is central to life; through a heartbeat, the pulsing vibration of life around us, and the rhythm and vibration of the Earth herself.  The drum beat intertwines with our daily lives.  Listen to the pulse of life on a busy street, hear it in the rhythm and intrinsic beat of nature, watch a child relax as she/he is held next to your heart, and feel you own heart beat blending into the rhythm of life.  The drum reminds and teaches us this. 

  
Drumming calls us home to ourselves where we can rejoice in our creative beauty.  The drum beat carries us outward allowing us to reclaim the majesty of our feminine mystery in the world.  In doing this we take courage in our birthright as the original drummers of the world.  This birthright leads us forward to claiming the natural rhythm of life in establishing ourselves as agents of change that is needed at this time in history.

Relax, rejoice, and celebrate this birthright we are born to and with.  Reclaiming ourselves as true women in this world leads to the restoration of balance between the many advances we enjoy to learning to live in harmony with our nature.  It is through this we learn to walk in beauty and balance upon our Mother Earth.


Mitakuye Oyasin

 

At The Edge

Come to the edge, life said.

We are are afraid, they said.

Come to the edge.

They came - life pushed.

And they flew. 

~Guilliame Apollinair~

Whenever I contemplate a major change in life I often become afraid.  I stand at the edge, looking out into the unknown, often feeling insignificant, fearing that first step.  Often I hesitate unwilling to take the step that will commit me to the course.  

There have been many edges in my life.  Sometimes I had to risk that first step other times life pushed me into it.  Once committed I did fly; each and every time.  The trajectory of my flight is not under my control. I have to have faith and trust in the process to allow the currents to carry me to my destination.

Standing on the edge, looking into the abyss can be frightening, but there are times when life gives us no choice.

When I had my stroke was such a time.  Life pushed, I fell into that abyss, and as the stroke progressed I found that I could fly. 

I had not know anyone who had a stroke.  Roger died of a brain aneurysm which was a stroke, but he did not survive, I did.  The world of a post stroke patient was an unknown to me. 

For the first few days at the hospital I watched what was going on around me.  After Roger's death my consciousnesses moved outside my body and I just observed.  Now in the hospital I found myself doing this again.  Staff cared for me, friends came and went, Jason was there, a routine began, and I was safely outside of it all.  I observed, interacted with people, and stayed cocooned in not really being a participant in what was going on.

I was pushed off that edge again and I was quietly watching and waiting for a time to re-enter life.  I knew I would "come back" as I did after Roger's death, but this, as then, was a time for me to access and reevaluate my life.  After Roger's death I had not been as aware of my witness as I was in the hospital. Perhaps because during the first five or six days in the hospital I had no other duties than to get well.  So I realized I was observing things at a distance from myself; I knew I would eventually return to me and I wanted to observe and learn from my witness.  This time the lessons remained with my conscious self and I have not had to re-remember them.  Reintegrating within myself was much easier this time.

My stroke pushed me into a new life.  It left me in a wheelchair and my right/dominate side impaired.  The blood clot was in my left front brain and controlling my right arm and leg is impaired.  I always said that before my stroke I led with my right side/my masculine side.  I would drop my right shoulder and plow ahead into anything I considered an obstacle.  For many years I worked on finessing this, had some success, but still led with my right. Interestingly that is no longer an option.

My left brain has transferred more control to my right brain and as I gradually work on this retraining I find a more patient, tolerant self emerging.  Through this emergence I have learned and experienced unconditional love for me and for others.  Surviving a stroke, spending weeks in a hospital and on a rehab unit, learning how to live outside my comfort zone, and patiently taking tiny steps to recovery teaches me to rethink and revision myself.  

Letting go of expectations and living completely in each moment has allowed me to soar to new heights.  Life pushed me and I flew....

       

Emotional Reactivity

When I am feeling annoyed with someone or feeling sorry for me I am most likely engaging in righteousness and being emotionally reactive.  There are times were I feel let down and lonely and it is easy at those time to slip into blaming others for my thoughts and feelings. 

Feelings often are subjective and created and felt by my ego.  Ego reacts to the world and through it I am given signals about how  I should feel and react.  Emotional reactivity, or righteousness, takes me out of the flow of life and away from being in the moment.  As this happens I find myself angry, hurt, or upset, and often want to put these feelings on someone else.  Others are not doing things to upset me, they are just living their lives.  My reaction to this belongs to me.  I am in charge of how I respond, not of what others do.  If I get caught up in judging the responsibility is mine, not theirs.

It is easy to do.  I feel hurt and immediately want to push the feeling away so I project it onto someone else.  If I stop my reactions, slow down, remember to breathe, I can go within and examine what I am feeling and why.  I begin to realize that it is easier to be angry and blame others for my feelings rather than to examine and accept them as belonging to me.  When I take this responsibility my being upset resolves itself.  In the moment of self awareness there is clarity into and understanding of myself.  As this happens ego lets go of its hold on my reactions and I am able to move into proactive awareness.

A blossom of self awareness opens and release ego's hold as I take full  responsibility for me.  Getting lost in my emotional reactivity is not where I want to be.  This is not in my or others best interest.  Ego always wants to be right and that is harmful to everyone.  Releasing ego lets me move into the place of being the objective observer.  As I let go of my emotional reactivity and righteousness I move into being centered in myself.  This is a place of balance, living in the moment, and mindfulness.

This allows me to tap into my full potential as a human being.  Emotional reactivity can be a frequent happening in life.  Realizing this, learning from it, and not staying stuck I am given the opportunity to return to and live from my center.  There are no mistakes in life only lessons.       

Living A Mindful Life

I believe if I live my life fully engaged and present I will be free.  By being engaged in life, and not pushing it away, I live free and without regret.  There was a time in my life where I thought if I could go to a cave on a mountain top, live off the grid, or have community of other like minded folks I would find happiness and peace.  I assumed that with hard work I could create this environment, as long as every one involved cooperated with my idea and went along with me.  Pretty narcissistic, huh????

So I matured a little and began to realize that life is not about others meeting my needs, but rather it is about my learning how to be present in each moment, embracing life as it is, and not how I want it to be.  When I accept life on its terms, not mine, I live mindfully.  Mindful living lets me be present in the moment.

The more present I am, the more mindfully I live, the more simple and easy it is to do.  It takes a lot of work and worry to have to think and plan for others thoughts and actions; and, of course, I can never control others.  Being mindful of my thoughts, words, and actions lets me have control in the one place that I do have this; within me.

It is strange when I realized how simple this was, but how difficult I had made it in my mind.  I am reminded of how encultureated we all are to what we believe society teaches.  I was seeking acceptance from others when I was not accepting myself.  It sounds bizarre now, but I was looking for acceptance in all the wrong place.  I would not find, nor could I create a group that accepted me...because I was not accepting myself.  

When I began to relax into self acceptance it became much easier to accept others as they are and not what I want them to be. Accepting me taught me to accept others.  There are those I prefer to not have contact with but that is a choice and is not about not accepting them.  It is about accepting and honoring my feelings.  It is about learning to discern my feelings, to act responsibly on these feelings while I accept others as they are.  No one need to change for me, and I need not change for others.  

I respect others beliefs and in honoring this I honor and respect me.  When I do this no one is obligated to share my beliefs, they need only to be respectful of me.  Mutual respect creates an atmosphere for mindfulness. I believe that in this atmosphere we can all learn to find respect for each other.

In living mindfully I feel we can see that everything is true from different points of view.  If we learn to accept this we may realize that war and other acts of terrorism are not necessary.  I do not have to make others accept or believe the way I do, I need only to learn tolerance of others and their beliefs.  I can stand firm for my beliefs, as long as I don't try and make others accept my beliefs as their truths.  If others try to force their beliefs on me I will stand strong in myself.

This is why I believe it is important to know and trust myself.  When I accept myself  as I am it is easier, and much more effective, to live as I do.  Being mindful allows me to remain strong and centered in me, and when I am there I find that others respect me, even if they don't understand why this is. 

Mindfulness allows me to accept and understand others beliefs even when I don't understand or agree with them.  When I am mindful I am proactive, rather than reactive, to myself and all others.