Because dreams were important to her they were important to me and became an adventure I would engage in as I fell asleep as a child. They took me on journeys, held information for me, and helped me to navigate my waking life. As an adolescent I resolved issues through dreaming, although I did not really understand that then; I was too busy being a teenager.
The summer following my high school graduation I began having my first recurring dream. I was leaving for the university that fall and was ambivalent about moving so far away from home. In this dream I was at school, it was final week, but I had not been attending classes. In fact I am not sure where the class is held. My anxiety and ambivalence about moving away from home was manifesting in my dream time. This dream has recurred throughout much of my life and is always an indicator that I am experiencing stress somewhere in my waking life.
Dreams help me be honest with myself as well as being an indicator of where I am emotionally in dealing with waking time dilemmas.
My dreams often give me future information and encourage and guide me into and through choices I make. In my mid-twenties I began what would be a series of three big dreams that were to help me make a transition into adulthood. I have written down my dreams since my early twenties, so I have kept a journal of my nocturnal activities. Of course I did not know that the first dream would be one of three; I only knew that it was significant. I was also working in therapy with an excellent analyst who worked with dreams, and who encouraged me to remember this dream.
It was to be my first tower dream. In this dream I come to a tower outside a city but I can find no way into this tower. This tower stands on the prairie. I can not find a door or an opening and in my dream I walk round and round this tower trying to find an entry point. I do not enter this tower but look up at it wondering what is inside.
My second tower dream occurs in my early forties. In this dream I am not only allowed entrance to the tower but I live at the top and my offices are located in the middle of the tower. Because I recorded and processed the first tower dream with my analyst I understood that this second dream was important. It was 20 years later and seemed to be a continuation of the first dream. The first dream came in early adulthood when I was establishing myself in my adult life. The second dream arrived as I approached middle age when I had moved through the uncertainties of young adulthood and was more established in my world.
The first dream seemed to symbolize that I as a young adult sought refuge from the hurry of daily life and saw this tower as such a place. I was not mature enough to take refuge there, but my dream was showing me that such a place existed. Of course what I realize now, but did not know then, is that this tower, this place of refuge, has to be created within my own psyche. A task of maturation. The second tower dream took place as I approached middle age and in this dream I live and work from this tower; an indication that as I matured I was learning to create refuge within me.
My third dream of a tower occurred shortly after my sixtyith birthday. In this dream I occupy a room at the top of a tower with my partner. This person is the personification of my inner masculine and we live in sync with each other, as we represent the whole and complete self. The complete self that accepts the totality of being. This dream, like my first tower dream, points toward and suggests the next stage of my journey in which I approach the integration of my feminine and masculine selves. Understanding that these are not separate people but that by integrating these parts of me I will move beyond individual consciousness and into a sense of cosmic awareness that will allow barriers of separation to dissolve.... and integration takes place.
Throughout my life I have learned the value of dreams. From Sarah - to working in my own therapy - to my working with others dreams. As Edwin Arlington Robinson says, "I am not one who must have everything...but I must have my dreams if I must live, for they are mine." Through my dreams comes wisdom and wisdom is like a dawn that comes slowly out of an unknown ocean. Listening to and understanding my dreams allows me to tap into my wisdom.
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