And Still I Rise

And Still I Rise 

Your sweet strong face meets me in my dreams

There is wisdom in your words and understanding in your soul

A Sister, an Auntie, a Grandmother – all three reside in you as we visit in the dreamtime

You have touched me and graced my life with your presence

Though I never met you, shook your hand, nor had a personal encounter with you

Your words have sang to and soothed my spirit

You taught me that “life is a bitch and I must go out and kick ass”

I learned from you that I am a Phenomenally Phenomenal Woman

Being a woman I grace the life I live and those who touch my life are enriched

By my presence, my grace, my being a woman in a world

That has not valued or respected women for the gentle strength and graceful courage

We each hold at the very core, the center of our being

A gift so bright and pure it is often not seen because it outshines all other gifts

Present in ourselves, our communities, cultures, our world…

Yet we not only survive – we thrive –

Because of your light having lit the way of our paths

We are stronger, brighter, more vibrant, kinder, and gentler for the grace of you

As a woman, a mother, a wife, a friend, and lover I thank you Maya Angelou

For having graced our world for the short eighty-six years of your life

And like you, and because of you still I rise…again and again

I, as all those you have touched, remain as living tributes to your life

And have the courage to love one more time; always one more time

PSG

5/31/14

A Tribute

Thursday, May 28, 2014
Statement from Dr. Maya Angelou’s Family:
Dr. Maya Angelou passed quietly in her home before 8:00 a.m. EST. Her family is extremely grateful that her ascension was not belabored by a loss of acuity or comprehension. She lived a life as a teacher, activist, artist and human being. She was a warrior for equality, tolerance and peace. The family is extremely appreciative of the time we had with her and we know that she is looking down upon us with love.
Guy B. Johnson

A great  woman, teacher, warrior, peace maker and keeper, artist, activist, and beautiful soul slipped away this morning from us.  She will be missed.  Her words, both spoken and written, gave me courage to believe in myself.  She was an icon, a hero, and I felt a deep kinship to her through her words.  She spoke and wrote of things I understood.  She stood for equality in all walks of life.  She was strong, and her strength was made real by her gentle and loving spirit.  

I am having difficulty imaging a world without her in it.  I woke today, a day after her death, and realized just what gifts she left if the wake of her life.  An extraordinary woman she touched and influenced many generations of people.

She understood others feelings and in that understanding she found common ground between all others.  She said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."  Her words and actions were often direct and forceful and yet she spoke to the gentle human heart.

She said that "there is no greater agony than being inside an untold story" so she told us her story. She reminded us that, "You can shoot me with your words, You can cut me with your eyes, You can kill me with your hatefulness, But still like air I'll rise".  And so she rose...

Nothing could contain her indomitable spirit.  "You may write me down in history with your bitter, twisted lies, you may tread me in the very dirt but still, like dust, I'll rise."  And again she rose... and she continued to have the courage to love one more time; always one more time.

She had learned the lessons that only unconditional love can teach, and in that learning she met the world with that same love time and time again.  And still she rises....She trusted, believed, and dreamed.  She made a life for herself and inspired those who touched that life.  And all who did also rose in the ripple, the air, and the dust of this great woman's being.

"It's in the click of my heals.  The bend of my hair, the palm of my hand. The need for my care.  'Cause I'm a woman.  Phenomenally.  Phenomenal woman.  That's me."  Maya Angelou.  And she was and is. Because of her courage and her words all of us are better, brighter, stronger, kinder, gentler human beings.  Her life and her passing have left the world a far better place...

Fact vs Ideas

"Do not ideas waste your energy? Do not ideas dull the mind? You may be clever in speculation, in quotations; but it is obviously a dull mind which quotes; that has read a lot and quotes."

The above quote is from a blog by Tenzin Lhabsum.  His thoughts intrigue and inspire me to question myself at every juncture of my life.  I feel the premise of his post is that if we face the fact the idea will dissipate and abolish the sense of opposition that we as humans create to avoid the facts.  Accepting ourselves as we are and then deciding how to proceed in life frees us from the duality of opposition that we create for ourselves.

Like the yin yang symbol finding balance is good....

 

The idea, thought, or desire is what I want; the fact is my truth; realizing this and understanding the difference will then allow me to decide how I should proceed.  Facing the fact that I feel a certain way and want to act on that feeling is important to know; choosing how I react to that feeling is the place where wisdom can intersect  with my choice. 

The more subtle the idea the more difficult it is to find the point of wisdom.  Many of my desires are unconscious, not known to my mind, and those are the most powerful because they come from beyond a place of what is known by my mind; beyond conscious thought.  When I realize what drives my wants/desires I move toward the intersection of wisdom in my choices.

Understanding and accepting myself allows me to know the truth of me.  It is through this understanding and acceptance that I can then make change in my life.  By removing the conflict between fact and idea I free myself to deal with the fact without the idea's interference.  I come to know myself.  Knowing who I am allows me to own what I do, and by owning the truth of myself I can then choose to let it go.  A wise woman once said that before we can release something we must first own it.  Owning the fact of me allows me the opportunity to own my total self, and by owning that I can then release my attachment to the idea of me..

  

Goals; are they the problem?

This seems to say that when I set and head for a goal I am really turning away from it.  The more I desire something the farther away it goes.  So Zen logic says that wanting something I must let go of my desire to possess it.

This is, I feel, a difficult concept for a Westerner to understand.  I was raised in a culture that supported setting goals and then moving in a direction to realize them.  Aiming for them was supported by all the institutions that were a part of my upbringing; family, school, church, the  work world...  This is the American tradition.

When I was an undergrad student a sorority sister gave me a book on Zen Buddhism.  At the same time I discovered the book The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran.  This began my journey into Eastern thought, spirituality, and unlearning my Western thought.  It took a long time.

Learning that to not aim for a goal initially felt alien to my Western mind.  How would I ever accomplish anything without setting goals?  Over time I began to realize that it was not the goals that were the problem; it was my identifying and attaching to them that caused problems.  So, like the above cartoon, I began to understand that if I aimed for it I was turning away from it.

Therein lies the Zen, or Eastern, thought and logic, and it is diametrically opposed to Western logic.  As a child, adolescent, and in my early adult years I believed that I needed to directly take on my goals.  In some ways it became an adversarial position with this frontal attack on the goals that I had set.  I was working against me by turning toward my goals which kept them further from my grasp.

I began to learn that the goals were not the problem; my relationship to them caused me problems.  When I began to practice letting go of the outcome and not seeing my goals being achieved in certain ways, I lost my strangle hold on these goals and they lost theirs on me.  I could have goals but I realized that the journey to my goals became more important than arriving at these goals.

The path, the way, was my constant companion and teacher.  Being fully in each moment, being completely here now, became more important than my arriving at whatever goal I set.  My goals became guide posts; something to consider but I did not need to be completely defined by them as I moved on my journey.  They were helpful tools to determine my path in each moment, but they were no longer something carved in stone.  My life became easier, simpler, and gentler as I practiced this art of letting go.

Within each moment lies all that I need.  When I lose being in the moment I am filled with anxiety.  When I reconnect to the present, the now, worry and anxiety fade away, and peace fills me.  A powerful lesson that I must remember and practice each day.    
 

Breath as a Bridge to Meditation

The practice of meditation connects me to my breath which is the bridge between body and mind, and this quiets the mind long enough to stop the cycle of judgements of shoulds, should nots, and what ifs. 

Slowing  down, being mindful of my breath, and breathing s-l-o-w-l-y brings my mind and my body into synchronicity.  My undisciplined mind jumps around from thing to thing; from joy to sorrow, from ecstasy to despair, and will not focus.  As my mind moves around in this chaotic fashion my body responds with sensations of anxiety, stress, anger, joy, or love.  It becomes a jumble of emotions translated into my physical self.

Drawing my mind and body into this synchronicity of balance creates a space to enter meditation.  My breath is the bridge to this happening.  Slowly breathing in and breathing out I begin to trace the path of breath in my body.  I experience the sensation of my breath and follow it through my body; slowly releasing out, before breathing in again.    

With my in breath I bring life into my body, with the out breath I release myself to the invisible, and then return to bringing that back into me again.  It has been calculated we breath in and out 21,600 times a day.  Breath is the essence of life, and by becoming mindful of my breath I am connected to my meditation.

As I breathe in and out I become conscious of the rhythm of my breath.  The sound of so-hum etches itself in my mind.  With my exhalation there is the sound of hum; my little self moves out to merge with the cosmos; and as I inhale to the sound of so the cosmic force flows back into me.  So with each out breath I merge with the greater self, and with each in breath I am reborn to me.  The sound of so-hum keeps my mind focused on this awareness.

Being conscious of my breath I am allowed to discern my thoughts and actions, and I can begin to live impeccably in each moment.  It is through this conscious awareness that I can effectively be present in the now.   

 

 

 

Up Up and Away

So starts a new day.  Rain and storms are  in the forecast...the sun hides in an overcast sky...and so the day begins.

Morning news: Renaissance Park and city officials met last night to discuss the expansion of businesses on Main Street; Community Crisis Center fills void in mental health treatment; Trever Chick, who was hit and killed in a traffic accident on Monday, organs will be donated.

New beginnings on many levels.  The news can be uplifting, even in a tragedy, if you will allow it to be.  An article in the American Prospect on The clear Eyed Utopianism of Ellen Willis seems to underscore this; "I think there's no such thing as too much freedom—only too little nerve," she once wrote.  We need to have the courage to advocate for our freedom.

And a little wisdom from the old bard himself, Leonard Cohen, "if you don't become the ocean you will be seasick everyday".  So learn to roll with life's happenings; the alternative seems to be unhappiness............          

 This with a morning cup of tea.

Greeting the day

I begin each morning with this simple ritual of having a cuppa tea.  It brings me fully awake, alive, and ready to properly begin the day.  

The ritual of tea is wonderful way to greet the morning.  It is a custom that began in my childhood, and today is an automatic part of how I begin my day.    An electric tea kettle, tea pot, cup, and tea are all that is needed to set the day into positive motion.

It is a practice that employes the senses.  The sound of the water being poured into the kettle and it bubbling as it comes to a boil.  The smell of the tea leaves as they are measured into the tea pot and their rich aroma as the boiling water is added to the  leaves.  The feel of the pot in your hand as the water is added and then the cup as the tea is poured.  The sight of the rich amber gold liquid as the tea enters the cup, and the taste as it is slowly sipped and swallowed.

Ah, a feast for all senses on any morning, winter, spring, summer or fall.

 
A day that starts properly often leads to wonderful surprises as it continues.  This simple ritual lays the foundation for me to pursue my daily practice of writing.