Leela: The Divine Play In Life

Humans often seek outside themselves the things that they are missing within.  No one has been the product of perfect parenting, and all have things that are missing or are incomplete within.  At some point in human maturational development a needed lesson is to learn to seek within. 

Someone who was not nurtured as a child often looks to other adult relationships to fill these unmet needs of childhood.  When we, as human beings, seek outside of self for this we ultimately abandon ourselves.  This is when the divine conundrum comes into play.  The Leela, the divine play in life, holds these beings in her grasp and humans often cannot see a solution to this conundrum.  Like children we may want to flee the safety of the nest, but only as long as it remains a safe haven that we can return to.  Others caught in the divine play are willing to provide this nest, but they want a relationship with the person who is there.  This cannot happen as those involved in this play of life fantasize it will.

Searching outside rather than within ultimately leads to abandonment of self.  When we seek others to care for and complete us, or if we try to rescue others from themselves we are setting ourselves up for failure.  I cannot fill the emptiness in another person, and they cannot fill that in me.  These are things we must learn to do for ourselves.  

When we feel a gnawing emptiness arise in ourselves is the time to become still and evaluate that emptiness; what is it, where is it coming from, and why is it manifesting now?  Become still in ourselves and examine what this emptiness is about.

Culture teaches us the opposite; avoid this emptiness at all costs; fill up with addictions of people, things, activities, anything to keep the illusion we feed ourselves alive.  People run around filling their lives with junk to avoid this fear of being empty, of not being enough, of being a failure.  These are powerful fears which enslaves those who believe that they are truth.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and if we give up fear we will never have to give up another thing" are quotes that speak truth.  Trying to fill unmet needs with outside relationships leads to disappointment.  Nothing outside of self can fill these gnawing needs.  They must be filled from within.

Realizing that we can stand in the center of our emptiness and we won't be annihilated is a powerful and freeing realization.  The Leela in life plays with us so that we might learn that it is only in and from that center of emptiness we begin to truly fill ourselves.  Our illusions are played with in such ways that we are allowed to examine them and their truths are revealed to us.

We may attach to objects, relationships, activities, and all manor of things, but through the Leela, the divine play, our attachments become clear and we can begin to let go.  Through letting go we understand the energy it takes to hang on.  As we realize this there is a sense of freedom by not being encumbered by what we have been hanging on to.  

At first as we step beyond the encultureated view of emptiness there can be a breathless moment as we absorb this emptiness as being a natural part of ourselves.

 

So we stop, breath, let go, and move on into this natural state of being.  This is what we each took birth to be.  When we can learn and then accept this we can play freely with the Leela, and we move beyond the fears that have held our illusions in place.  These illusions are revealed for what they are, untruths, and the truth of our amness of being becomes our reality.  We no longer need to seek outside of self for what we feel we lack; we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that all we need resides within ourselves.   

     

  

White Buffalo Day

Today, August 27, is White Buffalo Day.  It honors the story passed down in the Lakota Sioux tradition about living in harmony with all beings and the healing of the land.  This day was first honored in 1994 when a white buffalo calf was born in Janesville Wisconsin.

I journeyed to Janesville in September of 1994 to see this miracle named Miracle.  A friend and her mother accompanied me.  My friend traces her ancestry to the Lakota on her father's side.  Her mother is also of native ancestry and on that day twenty years ago her mother rode as an elder with us.

White Buffalo Day is a reminder and a call for all of us to step back and consider ourselves and our roles as citizens of this planet.  It is a call to our heart wisdom.  The wisdom found in the legend of the White Buffalo and White Buffalo Woman as has been handed down for 19 generations by the Lakota.  It is a call to and from our hearts to listen and learn not from our heads but with our hearts.

Not only a call but a plea for world leaders to stop and listen with their hearts rather than their minds.  Our hearts will lead us in the correct directions to facilitate this healing in our roles on this planet and encourage us to come together as a human race working for these much needed changes.  These changes not only will assure that we will survive but that we can thrive as a part of this entire collective of sentient beings on Earth. 

On that day almost 20 years ago my friend's mother, Dorothy, told us a story as we traveled toward Janesville.  Her sister had to be transported by a life flight several years before this.  She accompanied her sister as she was carried by helicopter to a hospital.  Dorothy told of watching the clouds that they were flying through and having the sensation that they were being accompanied by a herd of white buffalo on their flight.  She said a sense of peace came over her as they flew and that she felt her sister was going to be okay; and she was.

Some will say these are merely stories and legends.  These are people who listen with their heads and not their hearts.  I suggest you sit back, close your eyes and visualize Dorothy with her ill sister moving through the clouds with an airy herd of white cloud like buffalo running along with them.  Listen to an audio recording of the story of White Buffalo Woman, close your eyes, and allow images to arise as you hear the words.  This is listening with your heart. As images arise you become a part of this living story, of this legend.  Learn to listen not with your two physical ears but with your third ear of the heart.

This is how we make our stories, legends, and myths become a part of who we are; by seeing them in our minds eye rather than just hearing them with our ears.  We are a part of them and their teachings impact our lives.  They teach us of our innate goodness and how to live with all other beings.  They impart great wisdom in life to us mortals.  When we hear and see these stories in this way they bring the power of transformation into our lives.  We become hopeful of change, and when we have hope change is on the way.

That day 20 years ago the three of us, like three wise women, left Janesville to return home.  A beautiful cloud of hope enveloped us as we sped along the highway.  Like the three aspects of the Goddess, maiden, mother, and crone, we returned to daily life.  We each had been touched by seeing Miracle and our lives forever enriched by this.  Most importantly we carried a part of this energy within ourselves and knew that the legend of the White Buffalo lives within each of us.

  
It is good - mitakuye oyasin

          

Sound, Rhythm, And Cadence Of A Small Town

Dip, dip, wipe, brush, brush, brush; the sound of paint being applied to a wall.  Shuffle, shuffle, tap, shuffle, shuffle, tap; the sound of an elderly man as he walks down the street.  Snap, snap, followed by the sound of wooden clothespins clicking to metal clotheslines as the weekly wash is hung out to dry..  These are the sounds and rhythm of a small town as it comes awake in the morning 

My great grandmother, Sara, lived next door when I was a child.  She was my first mentor and captivated me and my attention.  Stories of this independent, some would say headstrong, woman filled my childhood and my memories of her are still quite vivid.  A gravel driveway separated her home from mine and in that short distance I had daily contact with her as a child. A powerful presence in my first five years...

A favorite story that I was told by my parents was of the time she decided she needed to paint her house.  This happened before I was born but hearing it told I could picture it as if I had been there.

Sara began by enlisting my father to drive to the nearby city of Hannibal for paint and paint supplies.  She explained that her house needed a fresh coat of paint and she being of sound mind and strong body would do it.  Most people didn't argue with Sara when she had made her mind up.  So my dad did her bidding and returned with paint and brushes leaving them in the tool shed in her back yard.

Shortly after getting the paint Sara set out one morning to paint her one story house.  A driveway separated her house from ours, and on the other side a tall privet hedge separated her house from her neighbor, Mr. Johnson.  Now Mr. Johnson had a stroke a few years earlier and he had a difficult time speaking - except for swear words.  

So on a fine spring morning Sara set out to paint her house.  She set a ladder in place, took a bucket of paint and a paint brush and climbed up the side of her house.  It was as neighbor women, including my mom, carried their freshly done laundry to their clotheslines; flowers were in bloom, vegetable plants were growing in the many gardens, and all was right in their world.

Sara set up a cadence of dip, dip her brush in the paint can, wipe the excess on the side of the can, and brush, brush, brush her strokes along the side of her house.  Dip, dip, wipe, brush, brush, brush was her rhythm.  To this was the gentle background sounds of snap, snap, click, click, click of fresh laundry being hung out.  So the rhythm was dip, dip, wipe, brush, brush, brush - playing to the background sounds of snap, snap, click, click, click.  A peaceful reassuring sound. 
  
Mr. Johnson, Sara's next door neighbor, had finished his breakfast and donning his hat and taking his cane he set out for his morning walk.  He opened his front door and carefully stepped onto his front porch, breathing deeply in the fresh sun shine morning air.  As he crossed his porch and began his walk he set up his own rhythm of shuffle, shuffle, tap, shuffle, shuffle tap.  It blended perfectly with the sound of dip, dip, wipe, brush, brush, brush, and snap, snap, click, click, click.  The world was in harmony as Sara painted her house, the neighborhood women hung out their laundry, and Mr. Johnson began his walk.

Mr. Johnson reached the main sidewalk and turning right he began to slowly move toward Sara's house.  Shuffle, shuffle tap was now accompanied by dip, dip, wipe, brush, brush, brush.  As Mr. Johnson past the tall privet hedge along the side of his house Sara, my great grandmother, stood in his full view on a ladder slowly painting her house.  

Mr. Johnson stopped, removed his hat, wiped his brow and said in a loud, clear voice, "I'll be damned".  Now Sara was hard of hearing and could not distinguish his words as she turned to look at him. Mr. Johnson in a much louder and well articulated voice repeated, "I'll be damned".  He was not heard by Sara but all the neighbor women hanging out their laundry to dry clearly heard what he said.  Sara still could not hear his words so she put her paint brush down, cupped her hand behind her ear and said, "ehh", and Mr. Johnson repeated, I"ll be damned".

This exchange of "I'll be damned", and "ehh" continued for several minutes.  I never did learn which one gave up first, but Mr. Johnson went on with his walk and Sara continued to paint her house.  She may never have realized that he was paying her the ultimate compliment before he walked on and she returned to painting. The rhythm of that small town was interrupted for a moment, but as the day grew stronger the rhythm sound, and cadence returned; dip, dip, wipe, brush, brush, brush; snap, snap, click, click, click; shuffle shuffle, tap, shuffle shuffle, tap.  And so it is in the life of a small rural town; it is the sound, rhythm, and cadence of life living itself....

   

     

A Peaceful Warrior

"The idea of one side suffering defeat while the other side triumphs is out of date. Instead we have to develop dialogue. We have to make an effort if we want a peaceful, more compassionate world. It requires education, based on patience, tolerance and forgiveness. Too often violence results from greed, so we also need contentment and self-discipline." ~ Dalai Lama~

Imagine a world without winners or losers; a world where we learn to exist in harmony with all other things; a world whose underlying teachings taught patience, tolerance, and love...what a world that would be.  As we learn this we begin to eradicate the core of suffering and separation from all things.  We accept each other as we are and by practicing this we begin to find self-discipline and contentment.  

To follow these teachings leads to becoming peaceful warriors in every aspect of living.  We advocate for peace rather than violence.  We let go of our need to be right and realize there is no right or wrong way, there is only THE WAY. Realizing that there is no right or wrong way we are confident that all teachings have a purpose and fit into the greater story of existence.  

Each of us are on a journey home.  We are walking our paths toward the top of the mountain and there is no right or wrong path.  A story tells of each person on their path and the only ones who are wrong are those who run around the base of the mountain telling others that they are on the wrong path. 

No one is on a wrong path; we each are on the perfect path for our learning and lessons through this lifetime.  Hatred, violence, and rage are lessons we all are working on.  Realizing this and working with and through these emotions, which are our teachers, is how we learn to mitigate suffering in the world.  We can give into these emotions and react to their hold on us, or we can understand why and where these feelings begin and learn to respond to them in proactive ways. As we walk our path in life these lessons are always there to teach us.

Peaceful warriors are those who stand strong in their advocating for an end to violence, but who do not resort to violence in their advocating.  A difficult but courageous act.  Hate is a strong enemy and in standing against it we as peaceful warriors must not be consumed or seduced into its illusion of power. The only power in hate is rage and in the end this leaves us powerless against these emotions and a pawn to their manipulations.  There really is no true power there.

Love and compassion hold true power.  When we let go of hating and surrender to love and compassion the essence of their true power holds us.  When we give up fear we will never have to give up another thing in our lives.  I believe that is the mantra of the peaceful warrior....

Love is the guiding emotion of each peaceful warrior.  To wake each morning and give thanks for love, to stop at midday and contemplate love, and to sleep with the thought of love in our hearts and praise to love on our lips.  As we immerse ourselves in love we grow stronger in our belief of non-violence as THE WAY; not the right or wrong way but THE WAY.  Love has no desire other than to fulfill itself, and thus IT IS THE WAY OF THE PEACEFUL WARRIOR.    

A Most Ingenious Paradox

This is truly a most exquisite paradox....

It seems that my wanting something often keeps me from it; and only when I  SURRENDER the desire for something does it become available, but in the surrendering it no longer holds power over me.  I then reach the place of accepting the process without desire for an outcome.

I feel that my desire for a certain outcome addicts me to that desire and it becomes an attachment that then holds my addiction firmly in place.  When I can move beyond wanting an outcome I begin to detach from whatever I have been attached to; person, place, or thing.

I let go of my desire for an outcome, how I wrap my mind about what it is that I want, and how I think it should manifest for me.  As I journey through life I learn to be mindful in the moment; not in where I have been or where I will be, but to be in the present moment.  This practice takes away my desire to attach to the outcome as the outcome always manifests in each moment, and despite what I hope for it always occurs in the perfect way.  If I will accept this I move beyond attachment and when I am no longer attached then the outcome is always more than I could want.

Ah, a paradox, a most ingenious and most exquisite paradox exists.  As the Dalai Lama points out in "The Paradox Of Our Age" we have more material things today, but although there is much in the window there is nothing in the room.

  

It seems to me that our desire for an outcome leaves us addicted to people, places, and things, and like any addiction we are then left with nothing, so the widow is full but the room is empty.  When humans experience a hole at their core they most often attempt to fill it with things including relationships. As the Dalai tells us we are long on quantity but short on quality.  We have more things but do not value or enjoy what we have.  People horde possessions but can't tell you what they have. Relationships hold no value other than to meet some basic need of possessing and being possessed.  There is no richness of spirit in such relationships; there is only an insatiable hunger/need.  That hunger/need says repeatedly "feed me, feed me", and the more it is fed the more hungry it is.  Like an addiction it will never be satisfied.

So we have to eventually stop feeding this insatiable need, remove our expectations from wanting a certain outcome, allow life to live itself, recognize when it offers us opportunities, detach and move on.  This can seem difficult to do, but I believe to continue to feed an insatiable need keeps you stuck in an impossible situation.  The ingenious and exquisite paradox is to stop feeding the insatiable hunger, no matter how logical this feeding seems, to allow ourselves a moment of discomfort in change that will produce more than we ever dreamed possible.  This paradox teaches us detachment.  

         

 

Compassion; Not For The Faint Of Heart

As violence escalates worldwide it seems many humans are addicted to their anger, and being held by that anger all balance is destroyed in its wake.  In breaking the cycle of anger, rage, and violence human beings must learn the practice of tolerance and compassion for ALL others.  Anger, intolerance, and hate connect humans to what can be called the supreme evil.  This evil survives on pain, torture, and malevolent actions. 

 

When we realize that love and compassion are necessities in life to assure our human survival we begin to evolve to a higher state of awareness.  Hate devolves us as humans while love and compassion evolves us.  The anger present in the world today, as in Ferguson MO, increases the breakdown in our human ability to love and find compassion toward each other.  

 

Photos like this have appeared in news media during the past days.  It brings to my mind the image of a war torn country and is shocking to realize this is happening right here in middle America.  It leaves me without words to express the pain and suffering that these images call to mind.  To see the militarized police force of this small town using its power against the citizens of their community releases fear in those who are its victims and manifests in anger on the streets as these people protest their feelings of victimization.  How can it be otherwise?

I find myself enveloped in a silence on the outside while the noise and confusion on my inside drowns out rational thought.  My experience with this comes only through the news and social media; I can't imagine what it is like to be engulfed by this violence in real time.  From seeing the images on TV and the internet I feel it must be Hell.  

I think of the words of Robert Thurman:  "Our anger or hatred only results in violent outbursts when we’re inflamed with rage and our good sense has gone out the window.  This kind of anger, being “mad,” that is, insane in its fury, destroys all in its path, not least our own emotional balance."   And I wonder again if our culture is addicted to rage??  I believe just below the surface of rage lies the true feelings of powerlessness and vulnerability.  Feelings that we as human's attempt to hide from.  The more hidden these feelings are from our conscious selves the more intense is the rage, and perhaps we are seeing this happen world wide as well as in Ferguson.

Perhaps by learning tolerance and compassion for all others we will begin to truly love others without condition.  Fear is driven by feelings of inadequacy, while unconditional love is a product of acceptance and compassion.  This does not mean that we don't stand for what we believe to be right, but it does mean that we stand for our beliefs without hate, animosity, and rage.  If we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our beliefs are truth then we can stand for them without rage.  When the things we believe in are universal truths we know that they don't need our rage to empower them because they will stand on their own.

When we stand at the center of that rightness we can accept these truths and allow others to have their beliefs.  Others beliefs do not detract from our own, nor do they have to accept our beliefs as their truths. We need only tolerate each others beliefs and not engage in practices that breech each others boundaries.  Easy said but it can be difficult to remember and to practice this; especially when rage drives behavior.  That rage driven behavior often erupts into violent outbursts and reason and good sense are no longer a part of the behavior.   In that moment hatred, intolerance, and uncontrollable rage are in charge of actions.

Watching video clips of the recent uprising I saw and heard angry taunts being thrown both ways.  At those times reason seemed to have disappeared, and each side seemed to attach blame to the other side for their enraged reactions.  I wonder what could happen if each person in this situation would take full responsibility for their behavior; not blaming or reacting to the other but accepting full responsibility for what they say and do.  I believe that if we become proactive for ourselves, out thoughts, words, and actions we will move toward a state of balance.  I know that when I am truly standing in my own center others words and actions will not take me off my  balance.  Rage and hatred are the source of evil; love and compassion are the antidote for this poison of spirit. 

 It take great courage to stay centered in the face of adversaries, but I believe that through love and compassion we can change those around us.  This is the only way I know to create lasting change - one person at a time.....   

A Star Is Gone

Farewell to another great, Robin Williams.  Like a shooting star your brilliance has left a lasting impression on the universe.  I, like millions of others, first encountered you as Mork from Ork on a weeknight TV series.  Your humor captivated me and my family and for four years we followed your antics and wacky since of humor.  

Along the way you transformed into a brilliant comedian and actor who could play both comedic as well as serious roles.  The list of your movies is long, varied, and good.  I loved Mrs. Doubtfire, Bird Cage, Good Morning Viet Nam, Dead Poet Society, What Dreams May Come, Hook, and Popeye to mention just a few.  In a lifetime you accomplished so much and leave a legacy for all of us who loved you.

News reports indicate you struggled with depression and addiction.  I am sure that in the coming days the media will try and let the world know what they believe drove you to suicide.  I am not sure the public and your fans need to know, but the hungry media needs to be fed, and you are now fodder for them to feed on.

My thoughts will rest on the many memories you left with us.  The way you helped me laugh and cry, the funny moments when you reached out to grab your audience and pulled us into your incredible sense of humor and you view of life.  You touched us not only through TV and movies, but through your bigger than life persona that drew us in like a magnet and carried us along.   I feel you gave hope when hope may not have seemed an option; you brought laughter in the midst of sadness, and balanced laughter with tears; and by doing this we all became a little bit better and a little more human.  If that was your goal then, Robin, your life was a success. 

I hope you will carry this with you on whatever journey you are now on.  Our lives are enriched through you and because of you, and this alone would be a wonderful epitaph: He brought joy and lightened the way through so many, many lives....RIP Robin Williams.

    

Growing Older

When I celebrated my 25^th birthday, over 40 years ago, I was a single mom, had just started my career in a new city, and was busy establishing myself with my young child.  I just read a post by a young woman who on turning 25 plucked several gray hairs from her head and then  shared that at the same age Steven Soundheim wrote the lyrics to West Side Story.  What a contrast.

Not to pick on this young woman or to romanticize Soundheim but the truth seems to be that many young people today seem unable to cut the apron strings and fly on their own.  I am probably not a good judge of this because in 1968 I found myself pregnant, not wanting to marry the father, but realizing that I wanted this baby.  There were no single mom programs funded by government grants at that time; no state supported daycare; and no role models for me as a single parent.

There was, however, criticism, judgment, and non-acceptance for me as a single mom.  Initially the only place I felt I wasn’t judged was with my parents.  They were able to embrace me and my child whole heartedly, and support and love us no matter what.  In Middle America in 1968 this was amazingly wonderful. 

 

From that I became a strong, independent young woman who could face success and failure equally.  Reading this 25-year-old woman’s post I thought how fortunate I was to have been born in a time that I was supported, encouraged, and allowed to mature into becoming me.  My parents did not enable me; they supported me.  They often did not agree with my decisions, but they supported me to follow my heart and to be responsible for all of my choices.  They had survived the Great Depression, World War Two, and knew that although life was precious human beings were also durable.  They passed that awareness onto me, and hopefully I have passed it onto my sons.

I wish that parents today could have the understanding of their own resilience and to then pass it on to their children.  Giving children hope for the future and faith and trust in their abilities to navigate the future is the greatest gift parents can offer their offspring.   To truly believe in ourselves is what allows us to succeed.   

When we grow older by grace we recognize the wisdom of not enabling our children, but to hold them accountable to themselves and for their actions.  As we do this our children can be supported by being responsible for all of their choices; good ones and bad ones and their decisions become their teachers.  Wisdom dictates that we as parents not rescue them from their choices; if we do rescue them we rob them of learning their lives' lessons and cripple them in becoming mature, fully functioning adults.  To grow old without maturing is one of the saddest legacies that can be left to our children.   

As a young adult I learned self reliance, self respect, and the ability to stand on my own.  These were invaluable lessons.  I never felt abandoned by my parents.  I always felt loved and supported, even when they did not agree with my decisions.   Beyond their agreement or disagreement with my choices I realized and recognized their love.  They did not enable me they loved me despite my choices ... and THAT HAS MADE THE DIFFERENCE...   

What Is Important In Life

 

"In the end, just three things matter

How well we have lived
How well we have loved
How well we have learned to let go."

~Jack Kornfield

Many people's idea of success is who they think they are, who they believe others think they are, and how many material possessions they have.  Their success is based on outward appearances and illusion.  None of it belongs to the them; it belongs to the illusion that they are creating.  Illusions takes effort and energy to sustain.  It can be tiring to exist this way.

But as Jack Kornfield points out the three things that really matter in life are things we are in charge of.  Instead of amassing possessions, people, and illusion we learn to let go.   If you think about the physical actions of hanging on and clutching compared to letting go you can realize how much more energy the former takes compared to the latter.  

In his book "The Four Agreements" Don Miguel Ruiz shares his code for life; 1) be impeccable in your word, 2) don't take anything personally, 3) don't make assumptions, and 4) always do your best.  This, as are Kornfield's three things that matter, is a simple direct code to live life by.

Although these principles sound simple when I began to attempt to practice them I learned how difficult they are to follow in a culture that places a premium on having, holding, and hanging on. The world I live in seems threatened by standards that are not externally motivated and approved.  The more someone has, does, and is, it seems the higher their success ratings are to others.  Everything about success is based on outer appearance and on things that  I, and all others, have little control of.  How others see me, how they evaluate me, and their opinions are not about me but are about them. 

The only place I have control is within me; I am in charge of how well I live, how well I love, and how well I detach.  Only I can take responsibility for being impeccable with my words, to not take others words or actions personally, not to make assumptions about others or about life, and to always do me very best.  If I will engage in this practice daily I am taught through my experiences that letting go, detaching and surrendering  are how I become mindful in thoughts and impeccable in actions.

The word surrender in western culture means to give up, but in the context I use it only means to let go of my attachment to outcome.  I do my best in what I do but I let go of my concerns of how what I am doing is perceived by others.  When I am thinking, speaking, acting, and feeling in mindful ways my intentions are always good and that is all I have control of.  I do not have control over how others perceive me; I only have control of me.  That is what is important because these things I can change and be in charge of; others thoughts, opinions, and behaviors I cannot. 

So I surrender my attachment to outcomes and live my life from the center of my being doing my personal best.  When I do this I know and accept that I am living a mindful life in balance with all that I encounter.  If I find myself angry, upset, resentful, or jealous I understand that I am not living mindfully and only I have the power to change my mindset.  When I take responsibility for this and change my thoughts, words, actions, and feelings then I can move into being mindful of all.  This I believe is what is important in life; living from a balanced perspective.

This calls to mind the serenity prayer; grant me the courage to change what I can (me), the serenity to accept what I cannot (others), and the wisdom to know the difference.  Courage, serenity, and wisdom are important qualities to practicing mindfulness in every moment.  These are good words and codes to live my practice that I call life by.