Excess

 

Are you addicted to excess?  Do you hang on to things, thoughts, feelings that are no longer needed or useful?  Has your living or working space become a monument to your grief or a shrine to your happiness?   Are you hanging on to relics of your past? If you will honestly weigh these questions, look at yourself and your life you can begin letting go of your attachment to excess.

A few years before Roger’s death we began de-cluttering our home.  This led to my learning to detach from not only objects but to my emotional attachment to these things.  As I let go of the emotion I had for an object it was easier to let the object go.  

After my stroke in 2011 I came home to my house that now held many things from my offices.  Jason, who is a minimalist, encouraged me to let go of many of these objects.  With the help of friends I sorted through the boxes and de-cluttered my home and my life once again.  I found new homes for a lot of what was boxed from my offices and some went to Good Will and other charitable organizations.  

 

I was learning the power of the words "just in case", "this brings back memories", and "someday I may need this".  These phrases caught me in a trap of nostalgia, weighted me down with emotion, and left me unable to move on unencumbered.  Years earlier we had de-cluttered our home, now as a result of my stroke I was doing the same with the things from my office.  All of these things held meaning for me, all had served a purpose in my life, and now because my life would change I knew it was time to let go again.

My stroke brought me closer to accepting my death; it taught me that attachment only encumbers me in my pursuit of life; and to live free I need to let go of holding onto...objects, feelings, people.  So I took deep breaths and released what I knew I would no longer need.

I look around my living space today and enjoy my artwork that hangs on my walls and is placed around the room.  More hangs and sits in other areas of my home and I trade it out with what is here with me.  I am not a minimalist but neither do I have excess.  What is here are objects that I use and artwork I enjoy.  I no longer purchase objects out of want, but only buy what I need and will use.  If I have no need for it then I do not purchase it.  It is a simple equation to live by.

I read an article about a "bestie row" a small neighborhood of 4 couples who constructed 4 small houses that allowed no room for clutter so that they could live, share, and enjoy a minimalist lifestyle. Maybe a bit extreme but certainly doable and encourages a lifestyle that will not support excess.

Roger and I had too much stuff.  After we de-cluttered, and after he died, I still was emotional attached and hung onto things.  My attachment to those pesky catch phrases listed above still haunted me.  When I came home from the hospital and rehab after my stroke I could see how these phrases and my attachments still kept me a prisoner to my wants.  During the first weeks of my homecoming I quickly let go of many things.  In the beginning I knew in my head that I was practicing letting go of my attachments, in time and with practice I realized that I was also letting go with my heart.  This was when I knew that my emotions no longer tied me to what I once was attached to; I touched freedom....

I am not and probably never will be entirely free of wanting, but I now recognize this condition and can begin by letting go in my head and with time this practice reaches my heart. When I experience this in my heart I am truly free.