"In the end, just three things matter
How well we have lived
How well we have loved
How well we have learned to let go."
How well we have loved
How well we have learned to let go."
Many people's idea of success is who they think they are, who they believe others think they are, and how many material possessions they have. Their success is based on outward appearances and illusion. None of it belongs to the them; it belongs to the illusion that they are creating. Illusions takes effort and energy to sustain. It can be tiring to exist this way.
But as Jack Kornfield points out the three things that really matter in life are things we are in charge of. Instead of amassing possessions, people, and illusion we learn to let go. If you think about the physical actions of hanging on and clutching compared to letting go you can realize how much more energy the former takes compared to the latter.
In his book "The Four Agreements" Don Miguel Ruiz shares his code for life; 1) be impeccable in your word, 2) don't take anything personally, 3) don't make assumptions, and 4) always do your best. This, as are Kornfield's three things that matter, is a simple direct code to live life by.
Although these principles sound simple when I began to attempt to practice them I learned how difficult they are to follow in a culture that places a premium on having, holding, and hanging on. The world I live in seems threatened by standards that are not externally motivated and approved. The more someone has, does, and is, it seems the higher their success ratings are to others. Everything about success is based on outer appearance and on things that I, and all others, have little control of. How others see me, how they evaluate me, and their opinions are not about me but are about them.
The only place I have control is within me; I am in charge of how well I live, how well I love, and how well I detach. Only I can take responsibility for being impeccable with my words, to not take others words or actions personally, not to make assumptions about others or about life, and to always do me very best. If I will engage in this practice daily I am taught through my experiences that letting go, detaching and surrendering are how I become mindful in thoughts and impeccable in actions.
The word surrender in western culture means to give up, but in the context I use it only means to let go of my attachment to outcome. I do my best in what I do but I let go of my concerns of how what I am doing is perceived by others. When I am thinking, speaking, acting, and feeling in mindful ways my intentions are always good and that is all I have control of. I do not have control over how others perceive me; I only have control of me. That is what is important because these things I can change and be in charge of; others thoughts, opinions, and behaviors I cannot.
So I surrender my attachment to outcomes and live my life from the center of my being doing my personal best. When I do this I know and accept that I am living a mindful life in balance with all that I encounter. If I find myself angry, upset, resentful, or jealous I understand that I am not living mindfully and only I have the power to change my mindset. When I take responsibility for this and change my thoughts, words, actions, and feelings then I can move into being mindful of all. This I believe is what is important in life; living from a balanced perspective.
This calls to mind the serenity prayer; grant me the courage to change what I can (me), the serenity to accept what I cannot (others), and the wisdom to know the difference. Courage, serenity, and wisdom are important qualities to practicing mindfulness in every moment. These are good words and codes to live my practice that I call life by.
In his book "The Four Agreements" Don Miguel Ruiz shares his code for life; 1) be impeccable in your word, 2) don't take anything personally, 3) don't make assumptions, and 4) always do your best. This, as are Kornfield's three things that matter, is a simple direct code to live life by.
Although these principles sound simple when I began to attempt to practice them I learned how difficult they are to follow in a culture that places a premium on having, holding, and hanging on. The world I live in seems threatened by standards that are not externally motivated and approved. The more someone has, does, and is, it seems the higher their success ratings are to others. Everything about success is based on outer appearance and on things that I, and all others, have little control of. How others see me, how they evaluate me, and their opinions are not about me but are about them.
The only place I have control is within me; I am in charge of how well I live, how well I love, and how well I detach. Only I can take responsibility for being impeccable with my words, to not take others words or actions personally, not to make assumptions about others or about life, and to always do me very best. If I will engage in this practice daily I am taught through my experiences that letting go, detaching and surrendering are how I become mindful in thoughts and impeccable in actions.
The word surrender in western culture means to give up, but in the context I use it only means to let go of my attachment to outcome. I do my best in what I do but I let go of my concerns of how what I am doing is perceived by others. When I am thinking, speaking, acting, and feeling in mindful ways my intentions are always good and that is all I have control of. I do not have control over how others perceive me; I only have control of me. That is what is important because these things I can change and be in charge of; others thoughts, opinions, and behaviors I cannot.
So I surrender my attachment to outcomes and live my life from the center of my being doing my personal best. When I do this I know and accept that I am living a mindful life in balance with all that I encounter. If I find myself angry, upset, resentful, or jealous I understand that I am not living mindfully and only I have the power to change my mindset. When I take responsibility for this and change my thoughts, words, actions, and feelings then I can move into being mindful of all. This I believe is what is important in life; living from a balanced perspective.
This calls to mind the serenity prayer; grant me the courage to change what I can (me), the serenity to accept what I cannot (others), and the wisdom to know the difference. Courage, serenity, and wisdom are important qualities to practicing mindfulness in every moment. These are good words and codes to live my practice that I call life by.
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